“…An animated altercation ensued (in which all took part) ensued among the F.O.T.E.I. as to whether the eighth or the ninth of March was the correct date of the birth of Ireland’s patron saint. In the course of the argument, cannonballs, scimitars, boomerangs, blunderbusses, stinkpots, meatchoppers, umbrellas, catapults, knuckledusters, sandbags, lumps of pig iron were resorted to and blows were freely exchanged. The baby policeman, Constable McFadden, summoned by special courier from Booterstown, quickly restored order and with lightning promptitude proposed  the seventeenth of the month as a solution equally honourable for both contending parties. The readywitted ninefooter’s suggestion at once appealed to all and was was unanimously accepted. Constable McFadden was heartily congratulated by all the F.O.T.E.I., several of whom were bleeding profusely.”

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!