Man Reverses Position on Homicide Laws After Son Confesses to Murder

Tempe, AZ – Today, local resident Michael Wilson announced that he had reversed his position on homicide, saying that murderers “deserve the same opportunities in life as people who don’t kill people.”

Wilson’s announcement came days after the Arizona Star reported that his son, David Wilson, had admitted to the 2009 slaying of a tourist in a botched carjacking. The confession came after a lengthy investigation by police, who say that the case was finally broken when a friend of David Wilson’s was arrested on a drug charge, giving up information about the carjacking in exchange for a reduced sentence.

Friends of Michael Wilson expressed surprise, indicating that in the past, he had, as far as they could recall, been opposed to homicide. “We didn’t discuss it all that much,” said Vince Matthews, Wilson’s next door neighbor. “But when murder did come up, Mike always said he was against it. And, you know, we go to the same church, and I don’t remember him saying anything about the whole, thou-shalt-not-kill thing. In fact, I think that was his second favorite commandment.” In later remarks, Matthews alluded to keeping the Sabbath holy as having the edge as Wilson’s favorite commandment.

When asked about his reversal, Michael Wilson conceded that his son’s confession had been influential. “When your own son kills someone in a truly brutal manner for personal gain, well, that makes you see murderers from a different perspective. It makes you see these cold-blooded killers as real people, with hopes and dreams, fears and faults. Who are we to say that killing is “morally wrong” or “evil”? It’s just another way to be.”

Not everyone was convinced by his change of heart. “I think this probably does have something to do with self-interest,” said Mary Jones, who lives down the block from Wilson. “A lot of parents would rather not see their children in jail, or even put to death, since Arizona has the death penalty. I think that he might be letting his love for his son influence his judgments about what’s right and wrong.”

When pressed on his prior condemnation of murder, Michael Wilson alluded to Biblical justification. “I’m a deeply religious man, as everyone who knows me can attest. So when I found out that my son had killed those people, I went back to the Bible to see what it said about the subject. Yes, there are some passages that can be taken to be opposed to killing, but did you know that there’s just a shit-ton of people killing each other in the Old Testament? I mean, out of the first four people ever, one of them was a murderer,” Wilson said, referring to the story of Cain and Abel. “So, you know, it’s a grey area.”

David Wilson, while unavailable for comment, did tweet that he was “proud of his dad” for his changing his mind.

Frank Henderson, a psychologist at Arizona State University, said that he found Wilson’s change of heart puzzling. “Well, it’s a little strange for someone to use self-interest in making up their mind about moral issues. The latest research suggests – though there are some who disagree – that morality is all about things like “blinding” and “binding,” and actually suppressing self-interest in order to benefit the group. So cases like this, in which someone seems to be deploying their moral views for selfish, strategic purposes, well, that’s not well predicted by the theory.”

In what was possibly a related development, Wilson said he would be soon be announcing an updated position on the morality of adultery in light of “pesky, underhanded snooping” on the part of Mrs. Wilson.

ps: By the way, of course I’m not saying that being gay is akin to murdering someone. Just wanted to add that lest I be misunderstood.

18. March 2013 by kurzbanepblog
Categories: Blog | 2 comments

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