If you had to shoot yourself in the foot with a programming language…


“Junk post” as they are sometimes called on Facebook, but here’s something on the lighter side. I don’t market myself as a coder or programmer, but to be useful in any way as an IT professional, one must learn to code at least a little bit. Here’s how one would shoot themselves in the foot, programmatically, with a programming language.

Some modern or scripting languages may not appear…

C: You simply shoot yourself in the foot. Easy…
C++: You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can’t tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying, “That’s me, over there.”
FORTRAN (Yes. FORTRAN is still used in the 21st Century): You shoot yourself in each toe until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue with the attempts to shoot yourself anyway because you have no exception-handling capability.
COBOL: Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.
BASIC: Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On large systems, continue until the entire lower body is waterlogged.




Hint: If you’re a *nix terminal aficionado, you can easily see the error in the command.
Assembler: You try to shoot yourself in the foot, only to discover you must first invent the gun, the bullet, and the trigger. And your foot.
Visual Basic: You’ll really only appear to have shot yourself in the foot, but you’ll have had so much fun doing it that you won’t care.

Pilfered from this page and edited for content.